.changed.

Current Read: The Jesus I Never Knew by Philip Yancey

I have been reading “The Jesus I never Knew” for almost four months. I’m still reading, hoping to finish it soon. As I started to reexamine my faith, I’ve decided to start with Jesus. I want to learn more about him. What is it in him that attracts many? What can I learn from him? Who is him?

Along my learning curve, I’ve met a few mentors and had a few “conversations” on IM with friends which have enlightened me in many ways. I believe that I didn’t stumble upon them by chance, but somehow some divine intervention. Yet, as I search more, I find myself drifting away from the invisible God I once recognized.

My Christian walk has taken a new twist. I think I am no longer the same person who takes in what others say, three years ago. Slowly, I’ve learnt to see things in the different light, and not believing in everything literally.

My friends have posted their thoughts on religions in their blogs. And they perceived Christians as those who go around trying to convert others, some to the extend of forcing. Some said it’s almost like MLM. Some said they are annoyed when Christians said “believe or hell you shall go”. I think I was once categorized as those “Christians”, maybe not so persistent. I never fully understood what it really means to be a Christ- follower.

Some said that prayers give hope to those who are in despair, those who doesn’t know what tomorrow may brings, those who have lost their loved ones, those who has lost their hope, those who are lost. I once wondered if religions are man-made belief to console themselves that there is indeed a greater force that is in control….I am still wondering. Haha.

I became a more “flexible believer”, at this point I am very much a confused Christian. Isn’t it obvious from my contradiction points? Yet, I chose to continue on this spiritual journey, believing in God though I have my doubts.

My next read is the book “Reaching for the Invisible God” by Philip Yancey.